7 Guidelines For Coping With Unwanted Loneliness
Loneliness as such is neither good nor bad. It depends on how each one lives and accepts it. We all wish, at times, to be alone. We need it and it suits us. However, there are times when it is difficult to face unwanted loneliness and we live with sadness and/or a feeling of abandonment. Being alone for a long time can cause serious inconvenience, as we are, above all, social beings.
Therefore, it is necessary to know how to face, manage and accept loneliness. In this article, we’ll present seven guidelines for dealing with unwanted loneliness intelligently, in a way that supports our personal growth.
the destructive loneliness
There are several forms of “negative” loneliness. A person can be reserved, but not harm their social relationships. Another type of negative loneliness occurs when someone feels helpless, alone, unaccompanied, and with little prospect of changing the situation. That is, she feels loneliness as a condemnation: an unchosen situation, a kind of punishment and, for all intents and purposes, something unfair.
Changing family or group situations can be difficult, no matter if the person is single, married or widowed. This feeling of loneliness, when not chosen, is one of the most negative experiences for our personal, affective and health development, both mental and physical.
The concept of loneliness is different from the concept of isolation. Even more different is the concept of dependency. We can say that there are three distinct faces of loneliness, with their pros and cons.
What are the common forms of loneliness?
There is loneliness understood as a departure from noise, crowds, noise… We need loneliness to be able to “feed ourselves”, to pray, write or concentrate. This solitude transforms the road that connects us with our interior into a lane with multiple lanes.
This solitude is necessary in our life and cannot harm us. If we know how to deal intelligently with it, it can bring us great benefits. However, solitude is often not chosen, but imposed. In cases of imposed loneliness, we see loneliness with such intensity that we can be surrounded by people and feel alone at the same time. So many people around, but very little sense of company!
The tragic psychological loneliness
Psychological loneliness is perhaps the most terrible type of loneliness. It can make us develop a real pathology, inducing suicide in the most extreme cases. On the other hand, loneliness can come from the feeling of not having deep relationships, such as the absence of a true friendship or family members you can trust. Our personality configuration can predispose us to this feeling. There are studies that reveal that at the age of forty, it increases with strength, to end up in retirement and the emancipation of the children.
When children emancipate themselves, the so-called “empty nest syndrome” can occur. So, it is necessary to act and face loneliness in the best possible way. It is necessary to do something if in our work, in our family or in our social group we feel alone and this feeling seems to suffocate us little by little.
The loss of autonomy and the difficulty in moving around favors another type of loneliness. This type can enrich us in some way as long as we know how to adapt and accept this loneliness.
7 guidelines for coping with unwanted loneliness
We can do several things to control and cope with unwanted loneliness. It’s not about not being alone, it’s about not feeling alone. Among some guidelines, we highlight the following:
Organize in another way
It’s a good idea to organize life according to our current status (single, widowed, retired, childless, etc.). Don’t organize yourself according to the stressful routine you had as a housewife or as an employee of a company. Now it’s time to incorporate into our agenda activities that allow us to share interests with others.
set times
Try to keep a time for going to bed and getting up. Try not to go into anarchy, it will give you a great sense of security. On days when you don’t have to get up early, don’t stay in bed. Not getting your body used to a schedule will increase the feeling of melancholy.
Always eat at the same time
If possible, always eat at the same time. Dine every night, even if it’s something light. Don’t fall into the trap of eating only when you’re hungry and out of control. You will notice the difference in your physical health and your state of mind. Disorder creates more disorder and, at the same time, anxiety.
Try to establish a rhythm, don’t leave it to your state of mind
Don’t get carried away by the impulse of the bad moment you’re going through. “I get bored, I don’t feel like taking a shower, getting changed… I stay on the couch all day waiting for a call or a visit that never comes”. Look at your watch and do what you had planned for that day!
Do rewarding activities
Do you have a vegetable garden? Go take care of her. If you have a garden, there will always be something to do. If not, put some plants on the balcony. You can also tidy up the house, organize your papers, wash the dishes… Doing something that distracts and keeps you active is positive and healthy.
You shouldn’t “kill time”
We need to find something to occupy and fill our time, but something that is meaningful, fun and makes us grow. Don’t complain about not having a lot of money. The rich don’t have their leisure time filled, they also get bored. It’s about looking for something that attracts and “holds you”.
Doing activities that we enjoy and enjoy is a good way to face unwanted loneliness.
change your pace of life
Monotony is broken with changes. Change your habits, put a little risk in your life, think that you don’t need anyone to go to the movies, to go to dinner on any given day or to travel.
The relationship that we will maintain with loneliness, isolation and dependence is in our hands. Living alone does not mean being alone or being a lonely person. What matters is to accept the personal situation we are going through and fight to compensate for the loneliness with friends, family, children, groups. If you are going through a situation like this, we hope these guidelines can help you, even a little!
