Does Positive Jealousy Exist?
Is there any kind of positive jealousy? Jealousy is part of our human condition. There are ancient references to him and this feeling has always been considered one of the forces with the greatest destructive power. In biblical mythology, it is jealousy that breaks the fraternal relationship between Cain and Abel, the brothers in religious history.
In Greek mythology, the germ of jealousy is what ends up triggering the Trojan War. Likewise, in every culture there is some myth or some legend that makes reference to jealousy and its various facets. Sometimes it manifests itself as envy, sometimes as excessive suspicion and a sense of apprehension. It is generally considered a negative emotion, which should therefore be avoided.
It’s hard to think of any human being who hasn’t felt jealousy at one time in his life. It is almost impossible to go through life without having experienced the sting of envy or the storm of loving suspicion. Sometimes very intense and other times not so much. It is a feeling that means the fear of losing the loved one or the fear of suffering a narcissistic wound. It is not pleasant to be jealous.
Couples feel jealous. Siblings, friends and colleagues are jealous of each other. Despite the bad reputation of this emotional reaction, it doesn’t hurt to ask a question: Is there anything characterized as positive jealousy, or… in this case, where is the positive part that any negative emotion can have? The truth is that there are situations where jealousy is a manifestation of mental health. The ones we describe below can be good examples of this.
Positive jealousy as a warning
There are situations where someone else has as one of their goals to win their partner. In theory, you shouldn’t feel insecure in these cases, as it just means that you distrust yourself and your relationship. However, in practice, it is very difficult not to feel a bit of fear in these circumstances. In this case, jealousy acts as a warning sign.
There are people who take advantage of a bad moment in the couple or some weak point in the relationship. Sometimes what motivates you is a real attraction to the person who already has a commitment. In other situations one simply wants to demonstrate or demonstrate to others that they can steal something they love or make a commitment for themselves. Feeling jealous in these cases is perfectly understandable and healthy. It makes you arouse your sense of alertness to defend your affections.
Keep in mind that it’s not uncommon to have something other people might want. That doesn’t mean these people are bad, nor does it make you the victim of a plot. You can simply hold a position or have some kind of privilege that arouses the greed of others.
The downside is that someone can work to take something that belongs to you. If you have objective evidence that this is happening, obviously jealousy will show up. In this case, jealousy reflects a caring attitude towards what is considered yours and which is threatened in some circumstances. But it is positive because it encourages you to defend what is yours.
When you’re not well and someone is bragging about their well-being
It is a situation that reflects immaturity, but nevertheless it is irritating. It happens when you go through a difficult time and someone decides to brag about the achievements they had in front of you. It is normal that in these circumstances it is difficult to be happy with the other person’s achievements.
There is a difference between sharing successes and bragging about them. This difference is exactly what can bother you. “Positive jealousy” in this case is an obvious response to an attitude that is offensive to you. No one has an obligation to stop feeling happy just because you’re not well, but it’s also not nice for someone to point out something that might upset you. In any case, it’s a feeling that shouldn’t be given much importance. Don’t feed it, it’s not worth it. Don’t feel bad about feeling either: it’s totally human.
when you are intentionally ignored
This can happen to your partner, your partner, a relative, or anyone you are in frequent contact with. This is a situation in which you find that your feelings are being ignored or not given their due. For example, when your partner mentions how attractive another person is. Or when working as a team, only what your colleagues do is valued.
In these cases, jealousy is an unease that arises because you feel unappreciated. There is a conflict because you need to take your place and claim your worth. Don’t ignore this nuisance, but don’t increase your size either. Jealousy may simply indicate why you are not comfortable with this treatment.
The most important thing in all these cases is not to allow jealousy to grow unnecessarily, let alone take control of your behavior. This can hurt a lot. While there is positive jealousy in many circumstances, don’t forget that it can also turn into your own worst enemy if you don’t know how to handle it.
