Doubts In Love: End Or Continue With The Relationship?

We’ve all had doubts about love. Maintaining a relationship requires sensitivity, attention and sometimes a good deal of patience; therefore, it is not uncommon that we sometimes ask if it is really worth it to continue with our current partner, especially if we have been together for a long time and some of the “magic” of the beginning has dissipated.

However, even though it is so common, many of us are not prepared to feel doubts in love, and we often suffer greatly. Does that mean that’s not the right person for me? Should we finish, even though everything has gone well so far?

Sometimes doubts about relationships can indicate a deeper problem that must be resolved, otherwise the relationship will not prosper. However, on many other occasions, doubts in love arise because our expectations of what a couple should be like are unrealistic. In this case, feeling insecure about the relationship need not mean that there is necessarily a more serious problem. In today’s article, we’ll learn how to differentiate these two types of questions.

Doubts in love: why do they appear?

Doubts in a relationship can arise for different reasons. Some say nothing about the health of the relationship, while others indicate that a change is needed. In general, the most common doubts in love occur in the following situations:

• In response to a change (external or internal).
• When one of the couple is attracted to someone new.

Let’s look at each of them.

When changes happen in the couple

Romantic movies got in our way a lot. In almost all of them, only the beginning of a relationship is shown, which is when the feelings are strongest, everything seems perfect and the two people are totally compatible and spend the day looking each other in the eyes with a passionate face. However, there are fewer cameras that portray what happens next.

The truth is, we’ve all experienced this feeling at some point. When we start dating someone new, sometimes we are so in love that we can only see the good things and ignore all the negatives. The most common in these cases is to start a relationship that will make us very happy for a few months.

What is the problem? That feeling always ends. According to recent research on love, this phase (which is technically called “limerence”) lasts between three months and a year. After that, feelings are transformed and true romantic love is born. However, most of us, as we feel this feeling disappear, become frightened and begin to have doubts about our partner, our feelings, and their feelings.

If something like this has happened to you, don’t worry: it’s the normal evolution of love. The important thing in these cases is to focus on creating good communication and trust with the other person, as well as working to maintain the passion for the long term. According to research, these are the three fundamental components of healthy, lasting love.

The same thing can happen if there is a big change in the life of one of the two members of the couple. In these situations, it is critical to the health of the relationship that the two of you work as a team. In general, all relationships will have ups and downs like these, but if the couple maintains a balance and open communication channels, the bond is likely to grow even stronger.

What happens if there is someone else?

Again, Hollywood has spread some beliefs about love that are very harmful. In this sense, some of the most frequent doubts arise when we don’t feel attracted or realize that our partner may be attracted to a new person. However, does that mean our relationship is ruined? Not necessarily.

The reality is that, for most people, being in love doesn’t mean you can’t be attracted to someone else. This is because the decision to be with just one person is the result of our commitment: to prefer our partner at any time over any momentary or casual attraction.

So if you feel attracted to someone new and it makes you doubt your relationship, take a deep breath. It’s not the end of the world or your relationship; on the contrary, continuing with your current partner or leaving for a new person is a decision that only you can make, after thinking rationally and without getting carried away by the emotion of the moment.

Another issue is, of course, infidelity. In these cases, the problem is not the attraction to another person, but the breach of trust in the couple. The members of the relationship must then decide whether they think they can rebuild it or whether, instead, it’s better to start from scratch, each in their own way.