Everything Goes Wrong For Me. What Happens To Me?

Sometimes there comes a time when you end up asking yourself, “What’s wrong with me? Everything goes wrong for me!” It’s true that we all go through complicated phases, periods when we seem to live stumbling, various mistakes happen, bitter disappointments and dreams that fly away from one day to the next. However, no one can deny that these moments sink, hurt and demotivate us.

Now… what is usually behind these experiences? Suddenly, realizing that all areas of our existence are in crisis (work, love, personal projects, etc.) makes us wonder if there is any trigger that orchestrated this bad luck . Is it our own attitude to blame? Is the current context?

When we go through these kinds of spirals where we don’t see the light anywhere, it’s better to stop. Plus, we’re not just talking about slowing down and taking a few days off. We must also stop the mental noise, the thoughts that keep spinning and fueling the worries even more. Pausing the body and mind allows us to analyze what happened and start over.

Everything goes wrong for me: what is happening?

Cycles of negativity do exist and are common. We refer to those stages where failure is linked to misfortune. A disappointment with a lie. These are days when a mistake is followed by disappointment and the reluctant acceptance that something we thought would happen will never happen again. Most commonly, however, these cycles are brief and, in a short time, our attitude and external circumstances improve.

Now, the most dangerous of these stages is getting stuck in them. Usually this happens when we feed the situation with thoughts like “ Why does everything happen to me? Why is the world treating me so badly? Is there something wrong with me that makes things go so wrong for me?”

Almost without realizing it, we enter a state of helplessness in which we assume that nothing we do will change our adverse situation.

What can be the causes?

Is there bad luck? We do not know. There is no scientific evidence of this and therefore we must look for objective and concrete causes. If we clarify the triggers that may be behind each negative event, we’ll get a greater sense of control,  and that’s always a good thing.

So, let’s know the possible explanations:

• The phenomenon of filtering. In this first case, we would be facing a cognitive distortion. It is a mental approach that makes us apply a very specific bias: that of negativity. The person only looks at what is going wrong, only pays attention to the mistakes, only notices the adverse and cannot see anything else. These dark glasses never see or notice what is going well, what happens in a positive way.

• Pessimism learned. There are people who walk through life thinking that everything is going against them. They are weighed down by a chronic pessimism that often has its origins in education, in parents who told them that the world is a bad place, that people cannot be trusted, that good things never happen…
• Low self-esteem. This dimension is not a state that is achieved overnight and remains for a lifetime. Self-esteem can weaken, vary over time and with experience. So, if at some point we find ourselves wondering why everything is going wrong, maybe it’s time to ask ourselves how is our self-concept, self-love, self-esteem…
• Covered depression. Mood disorders, such as anxiety or depression, act as a veil that obscures everything. So the idea that everything goes wrong for us, that no matter how hard we try, nothing will turn out as expected, can sometimes be the manifestation of depression. A study conducted at the University of Massachusetts by Dr. Paula Pietro indicates that these types of thoughts are a constant in the depressive mind.

• Tough times, variable results. We cannot rule out an obvious factor: the context around us. In difficult times, many things can start to fail, it’s true. However, it is necessary to understand that these are temporary situations: bad luck does not last forever.

What can I do if I’m at a time when everything goes wrong for me?

At a time when everything goes wrong for me, the last thing I have to do is continue as if nothing had happened, trying to reach goals or aspects that are already lost causes. Ideally, consider the following points to reflect on the matter:

• What is making things go wrong? Are aspects that depend on me? Or is the fact that some things happened beyond my control? The first thing I will do is take some time, pause to reflect on what happened and clarify what motivated this concatenation of negative events.
• I must accept that there are aspects that are really beyond my control, that are not up to me. There are difficult times, when certain things are not good for us. I assume them and, within this current complexity, I try to make new decisions.
• It is also necessary that I pay attention to the quality of my thoughts. Am I applying a negative filter to my reality? Do I just focus excessively on what’s going wrong?
• I inquire about my emotions. What am I feeling? How long have I felt this frustration or apathy? Maybe the fact that everything goes wrong is rooted in my mood. I may need help, and this is the real area where I must focus my attention.

Finally, when we go through those times when many aspects of our lives take somewhat adverse directions, it’s always appropriate, as we’ve said, to give ourselves some time. Then it may be time to make changes, no matter how small they are. Sometimes any change acts as a powerful trigger, something hopeful. Let’s think about it.