How Depression Affects The Relationship Between Mother And Child
“No language can express the power, beauty and heroism of a mother’s love” . This precious quote by Edwin Chapin is full of truth and power. However, what happens when depression affects the relationship between mother and child? Is there anything we can do?
Only a mother and her own child know the bonds that bind them. They are powerful, strong, unshakable if both are really determined and love is sincere. However, there are many external and internal factors that can affect this powerful union.
There is no doubt that depression is one of the most dreaded illnesses of our time. Misunderstanding and loneliness are two realities that unfortunately worsen this condition. And this problem in a mother is extrapolated to her entire environment, especially to her children, who can suffer more intensely than if it were her own problem.
The influence of the parent on the relationship between mother and child
The influence that parents exert on their children is crucial to their development. A mother’s mood has an enormous force that will be of paramount importance in a child’s early days.
After the birth of a child, it is common to find mothers who are afraid. In fact, this can be turned into a psychic regression that directly affects the baby. It is time to recover and overcome the situation, but not all of them succeed.
If depression extends over time, the environment will directly affect the relationship between mother and child and the child’s development. The child will suffer and try to please his mother’s demands over complaining or worrying about his being met.
Studies on the effect of depression on the relationship between mother and child
Donald Winnicott, a famous English psychoanalyst, was one of the most influential figures in the treatment of depression in mothers and in the study of its effects on their children. In fact, her interest doubled when a woman came to her appointment worried about her child’s weight loss.
What caught Winnicott’s attention was the fact that that mother was depressed. In addition, he identified that the concern for his little one endowed the woman with relief, something that distanced his mind from other usual concerns.
Through contact with the boy, he discovered that this woman was abused by her husband. A husband who “cared for” his self-esteem and happiness at the expense of his wife’s pain and suffering. And this child only returned to eating after realizing his family situation.
However, despite the child’s improvement, Winnicott recommended that his mother receive psychological treatment, as all this, in turn, would have a positive impact on her child’s improvement.
How is a depressed mother
A depressed mother disconnects her vital impulse and deprives her child of the affection he so desperately needs. That’s why the child’s behavior can be changed. In this article we talk about the case of a child who stopped eating, but the effects can be varied.
If a child does not receive security and affection from his reference figures, he will create a false “me” that will lead him to fulfill the wishes of others and satisfy others instead of his real “me”.
This entire process can lead to children with real inabilities to relate to their peers and their surroundings. It is known of cases of babies who even stopped laughing in a natural way. They just keep the gesture to please.
How to improve the relationship between mother and child in the face of depression
Depression is a complex and difficult disease to resolve. However, a mother afflicted with this condition needs a great deal of willpower and courage to get out of it. The affection for the child will be one of the elements that can help her to get out of this.
It is also important to know that we are not gods. Even though we are parents, we don’t know everything. Furthermore, not even our children, despite having the material issues resolved, are free from conflicts. We have to face all of this and help our little ones in that regard.
We have to give depression its true importance. Minimizing it or trying to pretend that nothing bad is happening is a big mistake that has the potential only to make the situation worse. It’s important to trust, listen and understand.
Of course, psychotherapeutic help is indispensable. A good professional can help resolve the situation. It will prevent her from becoming resistant and will alleviate the suffering of both the patient and her own loved ones, especially her children.
Depression can be a determining factor in the relationship between mother and child, seriously conditioning the child’s development. That’s why it’s extremely important to treat it properly to give our little ones all the happiness they deserve.
