I Don’t Want To Be A Super Woman Anymore

Unfortunately, there is still a plethora of inequalities between men and women.

These inequalities are often masked: we do not even notice them because they are perfectly incorporated into our culture, and others are even promoted by women themselves, who despite the advances we have already achieved in many areas are still not able to value themselves in a way consistent with the weight they have in society.

However, there are still some outstanding tasks that we continue to suffer from. For example, many women feel they have to give absolutely their all : they need to become super women, demigods.

We need to have a house in perfect condition, we need to raise the children perfectly (perfect for us, perfect for our partner, perfect for the mother-in-law, perfect for social media…), we need to be beautiful, well cared for and in fashion. Of course we need to be workers, otherwise we would be being “maintained” by someone else; besides, if we didn’t work, we would receive the misunderstanding of other women who would not be able to understand that we chose a way of life different from theirs, without anyone forcing us to do so.

Furthermore, if we do not fulfill all of our “obligations”, then there are subtle pressures in the form of questions, supposedly innocent but bearing criticism. But… “Aren’t you working?”, “Didn’t you publish your thesis?”, “Are you going to leave the child in the nursery when you’re so small?”, “You don’t get dressed like you used to, right?”

I don’t want to be a super woman

No. And I say this with my mouth full. Maybe a while ago I fell into this trap that has the pretense of catching women for a long time. Maybe I felt obligated to go through with everything, to cover the needs of others before my own, and to undertake or put myself in positions that don’t interest me right now just to gain the approval of others.

But I will not continue this game. Before we are women, we are people, and like all human beings, whether men or women, we have our personal rights as well as our limitations.

Everyone, both women and men, are fallible beings. Some things we will do well or very well and others will do terribly poorly. The key is not to be pressured by social ideas or obligations the world wants us to take as our own. And much less in devaluing ourselves for not reaching perfection, since then we will always feel inferior.

What does it matter for the world, for life or for the Universe that one day you go out into the street more disheveled than usual? What’s the problem with quitting work or studying for a while because we’d rather be with our kids? What is the problem if, on the contrary, we prefer to go on with our own professional life and opt for the nursery?

Why does the world meddle so much in what women do?

Tips for not being a super woman

The first and most important is to take care of our own self-esteem very closely. Women usually have a lower self-esteem than men because of the ideas that have passed on to us since we were girls about the role we should play in society.

The woman has the perception that it is never enough, that it should be better: better employee, better mother, better lover… As this perfection that is demanded of us from the outside is unattainable, we always have the feeling of failure, and this implies a kick in our self-esteem. Remember that every time you don’t feel proud of what you’ve done, you take a positive boost from your self-esteem.

The next tip is not to do what you don’t want simply out of need for approval. Don’t look for this acceptance anymore since it isn’t real: there will always be something for which we will be criticized, if not from one side, it will be from the other side, but we can never satisfy the whole world.

Finally, let go of the guilt. We women feel guilty about almost everything: for getting back to work so quickly, for staying at home, for not having the food prepared, for not spending so much time with friends, for being more successful professionally than the man we have in ours. side.

He arrives! Guilt is of no use at all and is the result of thinking that there is something we are doing wrong. Forget about this idea as this is not true. You are doing your best and living the life you, and only you, want to live. No one can feel guilty about taking care of themselves above the rest.

Finally, I can only congratulate you for being a woman, for everything you have achieved and still have to be achieved. Furthermore, I would like to congratulate those women who no longer let themselves be carried away by what the world expects of us: they will make our situation change and women of the next generations not to assimilate as their own the obligations that a large part of society today bestows on us.