Is It Good To Keep Friends With Our Ex?

Many say that continuing to be friends with your ex  is unhealthy or unwise,  as there are chances of a relapse and going back to something we didn’t like, even though it has moved into a different type of relationship.

Some professionals say that it is better to nip it in the bud and build, from the breakup, a life in which there is no space for our old partner. On the other hand, there are those who think differently and argue that a person with whom we have had such an affinity can continue to offer positive things in another type of relationship.

Reasons why you shouldn’t be friends with your ex

Among the main reasons we can mention the fact that  if you have had a toxic relationship, it is not appropriate for you to remain friends with your ex. He’s a person who doesn’t bring you anything positive, just sinks you into a sea of ​​problems. A particularly serious case in the context of toxic relationships is one in which there was some kind of abuse.

On the other hand, we all know that the fact that a relationship has ended does not necessarily imply that love, understood from a romantic perspective, has disappeared from the hearts of those who formed a couple. If the feelings are reciprocal (they remain in both) the most usual is for the couple to get back together. Unless they have a situation as mentioned above.

If the feelings are not reciprocated, the breakup becomes more complicated. The person you love is torn between approaching and withdrawing. Her feelings urge her to stay close to her former partner, but the feeling of having been the abandoned person pushes her away. For this reason, this kind of breakup usually ends the possibility of any kind of relationship. 

One of the best arguments for severing a relationship with an old partner is to  avoid conflict with the new one. If there is anyone capable of making a person jealous, it is the former partner or partner of the current boyfriend/girlfriend. Old loves are seen by the current partner as a source of temptation,  one of the weakest points at which present love can break. 

Thus, it is not uncommon for a new partner to end a friendship that we had with the previous boyfriend. Directly? It’s not the most common; the most usual is that it does this indirectly: creating so many conflicts until you can’t stand it and definitively end the connection you have with the previous relationship. However, contrary to what it may seem,  this is not a dead-end situation:  mature people can assimilate the situation and adjust it in a way that does not produce conflicts or disruptions.

Is there something positive about friendship with the ex?

An old love knows us, knows what hurts us and knows our dreams.  Love may have ended, but they still manage to read our gaze and maintain a certain complicity with us. Something very difficult to achieve. There are   good relationships that take years to be completely cut off.

Why can’t you keep making them happy? Why can’t they continue to give something to our lives? At this very moment I cannot think of a universal reason that is sufficient to answer these questions.

In the end, keeping in touch with a former partner  is a personal decision  that carries risks and can lead to conflict, but it can also be a good source of wealth and happiness, even if not in the same way as before. Without a rule, it is you who have to be intelligent and, taking into account some of the situations mentioned above and others that you consider relevant, make the best decision.

Image courtesy of Dragunsk Usf.