Meeting Needs: The Best Way To Beat Anxiety

Anxiety disorders are one of the most common and prevalent psychological problems in our population. Specifically, they rank second after substance use disorders such as smoking and alcoholism. This tells us that we should not ignore its importance, being necessary to apply the best strategies and resources to overcome anxiety when it appears. Meeting needs is one of them.

Given its incidence and importance in the population, in this article we will try to identify how anxiety is related to one of its main risk factors: ignoring personal needs or placing them at the bottom of our priority scale.

Anxiety is a destination with multiple hits

Currently, we find ourselves at a time when anxiety is being treated as a disease, forgetting that, more than a disorder, it is an alarm system : one of the ways our body and mind use to tell us that something is not. right.

By pathologizing it in excess, a multitude of treatments have been developed to overcome anxiety, but most of them have one major flaw: they only treat the symptoms, leaving aside the source and what sustains it. This type of symptomatic treatment fails because it does not address the causes of anxiety but focuses on its manifestations.

This emotional state does not respond to a single cause. Among the most frequent are stress sustained over time, or feeling that there is an important difference between our “ideal-self” and our “real-self”. In other words, if the difference between the kind of life I have and the kind of life I would like is perceived as great or insurmountable, anxiety is likely to arise.

That is, one of the most common roots of anxiety is not meeting our personal needs. If for a long time we live life on autopilot and don’t create the gift we want, a warning sign will jump out in our psychological system: anxiety.

When a person does not meet their needs – more time for themselves, more free time, less contact with some people around them or a lighter load of work or home/family -, day by day they expose themselves to an environment that , in a way, is hostile, uncomfortable and unsatisfactory to him. These negative feelings sustained over time cause anxiety.

Nothing happens by making sacrifices and fulfilling obligations that don’t appeal to us, but if that becomes the usual keynote of our life, then yes, we have a problem. When this mode of operation is adopted indefinitely and the needs of each individual are not satisfied, our mind has a way of indicating that we are not doing well. Our minds can tell us that this is not the right path, that life is not satisfactory and that changes must be made. To give us that touch of attention, there is anxiety.

Anxiety is triggered when your “inner compass” does not find north

When a person starts to have symptoms of anxiety – rapid heartbeat, dizziness, sweating or a feeling of disconnection from reality, etc. – what is done first in therapy is to attack these symptoms. And this approach or way of working is correct, but insufficient in the long run. If this emotional state is maintained over time, it is because there is something that feeds it. It can be what generated it or another element; in any case, until we can intervene, it will continue to cause damage.

Anxiety is an alarm system that tells us that we need to make changes. These changes depend on the person in question, in some cases they may be related to work, in others to life as a couple, family relationships, children, etc. In this sense, each case is unique and specific, but the vast majority have in common the sacrifice of personal needs or values.

How to Meet Needs to Overcome Anxiety

To overcome anxiety, personal work aimed at improving emotional self-knowledge, cultivating the values ​​and needs of each one must be carried out . In the short term, it is correct that treatment for anxiety is focused on anxiety symptoms, but it is not enough, as at the root of the vast majority of anxiety disorders is a lack of vital satisfaction. For this reason, if anxiety therapy does not focus on creating a new and better life blueprint, the anxiety will be covered up momentarily, but the underlying problem will still exist.

The first step is to go to therapy, this seems too easy or obvious, but it is the most common mistake people make: trying to solve a problem that requires specialized professional attention without help and by itself. Effective treatment begins by attacking anxiety symptoms so that later the person is able to set goals and make changes in their life that allow them to satisfy their deepest desires.

Once the most disabling symptoms of anxiety are controlled, in order to have a total overcoming, it is necessary to work on personal development; within this job, a very important part will be learning to devote time and space to personal needs. It is a difficult path, perhaps, because the person is invited to answer questions that were never asked, such as: “What do I want? What do I need? What I feel?”

Asking yourself these questions and enlisting the help of a psychologist opens the way to overcoming anxiety. If you suffer from such a disorder, take the first step, ask for help, and start listening to your deepest wants and needs. This is the most effective way to start a new life, free and anxiety free.