Nursing Home And Loneliness

Every time I visit a nursing home, I am overwhelmed by many conflicting emotions. On the one hand, I feel immense joy in the existence of these fantastic centers that take care of the elderly. They receive all kinds of care and the work of all professionals is admirable. On the other hand, I feel very sad.

I did an internship for my psychology course in a nursing home and the staff at the place told me that some elderly people had not received visits for months.

I often visit my uncle in a nursing home. He is very well cared for, cleaned and fed. He’s not very old, but he’s already incapable of taking care of himself. He has no wife or children.

The best decision that could be made was to put him there. He is fine and happy. Gained several kilos. They say he has good behavior. I like to go visit him and invite him for coffee. He is very happy and greets me with a “How are you, champ?!” Although most of the time I confuse my brother.

The nursing home and the sad hallway

When I go to get my uncle from his room, I have to go halfway across the building. I take the elevator, get to your floor and, from there to your room, there is a corridor where several elderly people are always sitting in wheelchairs. They can barely move. When I pass by, I greet them with a big smile. Some look at me and smile, others look at me and don’t change their features, and others don’t notice my presence. Whenever I go, I see the same people sitting there, alone.

Some are always quiet and downcast and I wonder what’s on their minds. What have their lives been like? Mostly, I wonder if they ever imagined they would end up stuck in a wheelchair, motionless and staring. Consumed by life, society, disease and everything at the same time.

I remember that, during the internship, I met an elderly man who was always in the same room as another woman who just laughed and screamed. He was a man, at first, quite violent. He suffered from Alzheimer’s so advanced that he could hardly speak.

One day I proposed to interact with him. I sat down next to her and started rummaging through her life. He almost always expressed himself in monosyllables. I managed to get him to tell me where he was born, which I happened to know. From there, little by little, I started to get more words out of him. Even one day, despite having a serious face, he smiled at me.

they just look for affection

One day of internship, walking down the hall, I heard this gentleman scream. I went into the room where he was and found two helpers trying to take him to the bathroom; however, he didn’t stop moving.

I walked into the room, he saw me and dropped into the chair completely relaxed. I had found the secret. I had the answer right there in front of me. Behind that expressionless look, with crystalline eyes almost dry and with the cognitive abilities severely affected, there was a person who only wanted to receive affection .

In fact, the subject of receiving affection is so important to these people that Gea Sijpkes, director of the Humanitas home in the Netherlands, has implemented a project related to it. In 2012, it decided to offer free on-site accommodation to students who, in return, spent at least 30 hours a month with the elderly.

Behind all this, there is a soul trying to connect

Both in the nursing home where I interned and where my uncle is, I could see the influence of society’s shadow on many of our seniors. The professionals at these centers have a lot of work and cannot provide the necessary follow-up. However, I feel very sad for those elderly people who hardly receive visitors. Behind each of them is a soul desiring to connect with another person. Loneliness consumes them little by little.

This society teaches us that what is worth taking care of is what is functional, what we can benefit from. It hurts so much to see that many families feel that their elderly relatives no longer “contribute with anything” and so they place them in nursing homes and abandon them there, visiting only once in a while. Our elders had a life, they had a story, they gave part of their lives to us and we abandoned them.

There is no doubt that nursing homes are a wonderful alternative in many cases and that, thanks to them, many of our seniors receive incredible care. This article only wants to highlight the loneliness and abandonment to which many of our elderly people are subjected. As if they were a load, they are left to be forgotten in these types of places. 

The nursing home and its great work

Many families, due to work, financial or time circumstances, cannot take responsibility for the correct care of their elderly when they are no longer self-sufficient. Therefore, they choose to place them in homes. However, whenever they can, they go visit them, hug them, kiss them, etc.

Despite being in a nursing home, the feeling of abandonment does not exist. These homes become their new home, where they live with other elderly people and their relatives visit frequently.

We must not forget the great work carried out by these centers, but we must also not forget the people inside. They gave years of their lives for us and we are what we are thanks to their work, effort and education.

The least we can do is be by their side when they need it, give them back the time they’ve dedicated to us, make them feel that they’re not alone and that they’ll always have us by their side. After all, we can never forget that we are in this world thanks to them.