Talking About Our Feelings To Others Is Therapeutic

Sometimes we tend to hide our feelings when we are with other people. We are embarrassed to acknowledge that we feel emotions that we consider negative  and mistakenly believe that they make us weak in the eyes of others. We want to be emotionally strong, not be easily affected by almost anything and pass the image of a “mature and rational person”.

The truth is that practicing rational thinking and trying to be a little more mature every day is wonderful. First of all for ourselves, as with practice we will be able to get rid of a lot of unnecessary problems. It is also true that relationships with others tend to improve, as not exaggerating events, knowing how to manage emotions properly and acting in a functional and sensible manner also affects our surroundings.

However, this is not to say that we have ceased to be human:  throughout our lives, we will inevitably feel sad, anxious or angry more often than we would like to. So, as this is something natural, the best we can do is to normalize it, not hide and exercise self-acceptance. And always in moderation: while talking about our feelings with others is therapeutic, saturating them with it can turn out to be negative for us.

Why does talking about our feelings benefit us?

Regardless of whether these feelings are negative or positive, it is always beneficial to share them with others.  In the case of positives, it is beneficial because it increases them and can end up creating a celebration or a pleasant moment. Who doesn’t want to tell their partner they got a raise at work?

We also have several reasons for sharing negative emotions. The main thing is that by putting them on the table, we avoid running away from this feeling and increase the chances of taking responsibility for solving it. At the same time, when we do this, we will allow an exposure, which will make the emotion tend to grow. By talking about this, we can expose the situation that causes us emotion to other points of view, often less catastrophic than what we had initially.

When we try to erase the emotion, as if it were a sentence written in pencil on any paper, what we generate is the increase of such emotion.  We tell ourselves “we shouldn’t be like this,” and that demand adds to the pressure. The consequence is that we experience anxiety and discomfort, which in turn makes the emotion more intense.

On the other hand, talking about our emotions improves interpersonal relationships. We allow the other person to feel confident, someone you have placed your trust in, and this denotes a great deal of appreciation and affection towards this person, who feels that they were important to you.

Two heads are better than one, which means that if you share your problem or tell someone else how you feel, it will probably be easier to find a solution that can help you. Sometimes we feel so emotionally down that we can’t see what others are able to see without making a lot of effort.

When to talk about my feelings with others?

Whenever you feel a heaviness inside you, a knot that doesn’t allow you to think clearly, let alone act efficiently, it’s convenient to share. It could be with your best friend, your parents or a psychologist. In any case, the best thing is that you don’t keep it to yourself.

For example, when our partner does something we don’t like. Rather than shutting up and exploding inside, wouldn’t it be better to tell him how we feel? If we do that, what will happen is that the glass will start to overflow, and then your way of expressing how you feel will not be the most adequate.

Always start by taking responsibility for your feelings. For this, the sentence has to start with “I feel…” , followed by your reasons and always end up with a good relationship, accepting the other’s point of view.

We can also share what happens to us with people who have nothing to do with the problem, such as a friend. He will give us his point of view and help us find solutions. Just don’t start criticizing other people, because then you’ll get the opposite effect: your negativity will grow even more.

It is very unlikely that they will reject you because you feel bad, as the human tends to be empathetic, but if that happens, it’s not your problem and it won’t mean a damn thing about you. Remember that talking about problems and emotions not only benefits you, as  people around you will also feel that you place your trust in them and the bond will be strengthened.