When You Are His Worst Enemy

Have you ever had the feeling of being your worst enemy? There is no doubt: to  live fully and obtain the satisfaction of our desires on the way to a supposed happiness is not an easy task. In fact, we are talking about a mission with a beginning but without an end.

On the one hand, there may be adverse environmental conditions: economic, professional, home, etc. difficulties. There may also be internal conditions, such as having a disease, going through some misfortune or directly imposing on us a level of demand that we are not prepared to reach at this moment.

On the other hand, there is a more or less obvious competition with other people who also struggle to achieve the same goals. These people may be our enemies, but sometimes you are their worst enemy.

People who have everything and feel unhappy

Sometimes, some fortunate people who live in a favorable environment and apparently have little difficulty getting what they want, feel unhappy. At first, there are no obstacles, no enemies. So what’s the problem? What happens?

The obstacle may have been generated by the person himself, when he constituted himself as his own enemy by the way he judges himself or by the goals he sets for himself. This is something we’ve all done at some point and will continue to do so. So, intuitively, we can understand the consequences of this self-imposed burden.

Often, when this happens, the problem is with self-love, with caring for oneself. Self-esteem fails, and that has nothing to do with selfishness. It is not about thinking: “I am above everything and everyone”. It is about thinking: “I deserve the same kind and understanding treatment that I use with others”.

The importance of judging ourselves objectively

Loving ourselves means recognizing our own worth and considering ourselves as important as others in life. For many people this is not easy. They don’t know how to judge themselves objectively.

People who do not judge themselves objectively extol the virtues of others and are able to forgive the greatest mistakes and shortcomings of others. On the other hand, they are extremely unfair to themselves, demanding and even cruel. They are your own enemies.

This behavior can lead to deep bitterness that leads to depression and neurotic behavior. It is necessary to know how to value yourself objectively and not compare yourself with others. Only then will we fend off the enemy.

Being your worst enemy can be the result of your learning.

In general, this way of being and feeling is the result of special learning and maturation. The child, from birth, is self-centered by nature. She still has no social conscience and thinks that everything around her belongs to her or happens in relation to her.

This idea is supported by the fact that the child is usually the center of attention. It is later, through education and contact with other children, that she discovers that there are more people around her. She finds that, like her, these people deserve respect and consideration.

It is normal for a person who grows and builds his character based on this philosophy to become an adult confused between what corresponds to him for justice and what would be objectionable selfishness. To avoid the terrible feelings of guilt, she prefers to deny any meritocratic self-recognition. The person behaves as if he were his own enemy, to which he does not grant any opportunity.

On the other hand, some moral and religious educations emphasize humility as one of the most precious virtues, threatening its absence with punishment and sin. A personality that grows in this line of conduct tends to place itself in flexible limits, considering that there is only one correct way to proceed for everything.

You can stop being your worst enemy

To defeat our inner enemy, the first step is to become aware that the problem exists. We must observe our daily conduct and the dynamics of our thoughts. See how many times we deprive ourselves of small pleasures thinking that it suits us or that we don’t deserve it.

Let’s start there by encouraging ourselves with small rewards and praise for our minimal achievements and positive efforts. Perhaps, without realizing it, one day we will find ourselves struggling to get something important that we want and that, in fairness, we deserve.