Why Does Thinking Positive Don’t Always Work?

Many people have realized that thinking positive doesn’t always work, and that maintaining an attitude of hope doesn’t guarantee that what they hope will happen. Some experts say that people tend to enter a period where they embrace a kind of “gentle pessimism,” which helps them understand that life is sometimes not going as they would like.

This is not necessarily a bad thing. The human mind is used to this extreme polarity that makes us categorize things as “good” or “bad”. However, it may be time to understand that not everything is black or white.

For many decades, thinking positive has been a recurrent advice, after all, it is what people tend to cling to whenever they face difficulties. It’s no secret that somehow injecting optimism into the brain keeps us from falling into defeatism and helplessness.

However, in current times, uncertainty is a constant and fears are always present in our minds.

It’s time to see things from a different perspective, where positivity and hope still exist, but in a more realistic way. This would undoubtedly make it easier to navigate challenges more effectively.

Why does positive thinking not always work?

There are many people in favor of positive thinking, but also many against it. It can be said that there is no middle ground when it comes to this subject. To the psychological approach popularized by figures such as Martin Seligman or Mihály Csíkszentmihályi in the 1990s, critical voices are added, such as that of psychologist Julie K. Norem, professor of psychology at Wellesley University (USA), who has been trying to explain us for more than twenty years something important.

In his book published in 2001, The Positive Power of Negative Thinking (The positive power of negative thinking) , she says she was installed in our culture a vision rather childish about positivity. The lessons taught by Seligman have been reduced to the point of becoming a fad. In fact, many people assume that everything can be resolved by focusing on the good in life.

According to Dr. Norem herself, we have reached an extreme where if someone has problems or cannot see that light at the end of the tunnel, something is wrong with their personality.

But let’s face it: there are times when we don’t get to see the bright side of life, and that’s not only understandable, it’s also expected. As Viktor Frankl pointed out, when faced with unusual situations, it is normal to react in unusual ways. So it’s important to understand that there are many different reasons why thinking positive doesn’t always work. Let’s analyze them.

Thinking positive does not prepare us to face negative results

Repeating over and over that “everything will be fine” can be counterproductive. It is dangerous to focus only on a successful results-oriented approach that ignores other possibilities. If things don’t go as well as you expect, you can be caught off guard emotionally and psychologically.

The best thing to do in these situations is to take a realistic approach : “I hope things go well, but if they don’t, I’ll deal with it. I will accept and apply adequate coping strategies”.

It can lead us to adopt a passive attitude

Julie K. Norem explains in her book that it is wise to take a somewhat pessimistic perspective on reality. It’s about shuffling all the possibilities and remembering that what you want and expect can happen, but there’s also the  possibility that things can go wrong . So what to do under these circumstances?

You must do your best and work hard to prevent these negative results from occurring. If you simply assume that everything is going to work out, you may end up adopting a passive attitude, and that can be dangerous.

Thinking positive doesn’t always work in the presence of anxiety and stress

The anxious mind has the peculiarity of not being able to see the good in life. This way, thinking positive doesn’t always work when you’re worried, stressed out, and emotionally tense. There are situations where, as much as people tell you to cheer up, you still feel bad because you just don’t believe it.

In this context, it is interesting to consider the approaches that acceptance and commitment therapy offers. Specifically, it can help you understand that life is not easy and that you can fall, fail, and sometimes feel hopeless. However, you cannot lose commitment to yourself.

Extremes are never good: get rid of naive positivism and chronic pessimism

Thinking positive doesn’t always work because life is unpredictable. Also because you may not be able to deal with adversity, frustration, fear and suffering.

Life is a kaleidoscope of experiences. Sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s bad, and sometimes it’s just normal. You must learn to navigate all these oceans on both calm days and stormy nights.

Does that mean it’s better to be pessimistic? No way. However, it is not advisable to adopt a naive and confident positivity. You must not believe that it is enough to want too much for something to happen. We live in complex times, and you’ve probably noticed that this formula doesn’t work. Extremes are never good.

You must be realistic. Train to deal with everyday challenges and learn to tolerate the unpredictable and even the painful. But remember that it is all about balance, which means that you must continue to nurture hope, after all, it is an existential necessity.