You Give Everything And You Are Asked For More: The Burden Of Being The Best

Being the best at something isn’t always as positive as many people think. Those who excel at something may end up being the target of rejection, jokes and even abuse by others. We all know the cases of children who are excellent students at school and, instead of being admired for it, end up being victims of bullying by their peers.

In this sense, we’ve all seen how someone who achieves great success is not always supported by those around him. Sometimes, these people become targets of envy, which is expressed as criticism or minimization of what they do. They even sometimes end up being used by others for their own interests.

The range of men and women who were the best in their field at one time, while at the same time having to struggle between loneliness and rejection from others, is vast. Why is this happening? Is it possible to work for this to be different?

When being the best involves free obligations

Adriana worked at one of the educational centers for a large project for abandoned children. Her performance was excellent, so at the end of her freshman year, she was given some disconcerting news: they would only give her 30 more children for her to attend. “You’re the best, so we trust you can do this well.” But they wouldn’t pay you more, or give you incentives. As a reward, she had been punished.

This also happens indoors. If the older sibling has more drawing skills, it is likely that his parents will ask him to help his siblings with theirs. The same can happen with foreign languages, mathematics or Portuguese. If the youngest is more responsible, he will spend the rest of his life taking on the duties that demand greater responsibility.

We see this often in mothers. They work outside the home, work indoors, have everything ready when necessary and if one day they say something, complaints start to appear. People assume they always have to do everything perfectly and on time. Your dedication and commitment have more demands as “reward”.

The rejection for being the best

Within the scope of the study, there are also curious ways to treat the one who is the best. People say they are “nerds”, and this is assumed to be a handicap rather than a virtue. If the best in class doesn’t help all of their peers, it will generate deep rejection. If he helps, he will turn into an idiot used by others. It’s like no matter which angle we look at it, being the best would never have a way out.

Things are no different in the professional field. What you know the most, or what you can do the most, must always be there, ready to collaborate with others. Otherwise, it will appear unsympathetic and may end up being discriminated against or isolated.

It doesn’t just happen to the smartest or most talented. Those most responsible also end up doing the work that corresponds to an entire group or team. The most understanding end up trying to erase all conflicts or becoming the cloth of tears for others. It is up to the bravest to take on the tasks that require the most courage, as if they were immune. And if any of them don’t do any of this, they will be accused of being selfish.

Is there a way out?

Without a doubt, being better at something is also an obstacle. While having above-average skills, dexterity or knowledge of those around you requires responsibility, it is also true that many take advantage of this to give additional burdens to those who know more, can do more, or want more.

In fact, some of the people who always try to do everything with excellence, who don’t shy away from the challenge of doing things, and doing things the best they can,  end up feeling guilty if they don’t respond to the demands of others. They learn to take for granted the fantasy that they must cover the needs and limitations of others. Thus, they end up overloading themselves with responsibilities and developing a level of self-demand that can be very destructive.

The way out is to learn to set limits. Every gift that life gives us must be shared, but each of us has a responsibility to compensate in some way for the favors they do us, or the help they offer us. Being better at something doesn’t just bring more obligations and responsibilities; this will also be rewarded with gratitude and consideration.

Images courtesy of SurrealismBlack, Al Stephen.